Proven Strategies for Outcomes-driven Spiritual Stewardship

Father and his son having a discussion

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord”. Ephesians 6:4 ESV

We open this discourse with this classical scripture on the rudiments of parenting; Ephesians 6:4.

Let’s briefly dwell on Ephesians 6:4. What does this scripture mean to us as Christian parents? How is it related to raising children who truly have an experience of faith that leads to a deep grounding and an unshakeable rooting?

The phrase “the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord” (often translated as "the nurture and admonition of the Lord") refers to a holistic, Christ-centered approach to raising children. To truly grasp the weight of this mandate, we must look at the root words for “discipline” and “instruction”, the Greek terms paideia and nouthesia, and how they connect to the original Hebrew pedagogy of parenting.

While paideia is a Greek term for the "enculturation" of a citizen, within the Hebrew context, it is the functional equivalent of the Hebrew word musar. In Hebrew tradition, the musar was the "discipline" of learning the Law. It was viewed as a protective boundary. To provide paideia was to bring a child under the "yoke" of God’s commandments, which was seen as the path to life and wisdom. To understand this fully, we must break down the intersection of these terms:

• Musar – the discipline of learning the law.

• Paideia – bring a child under the yoke of God’s commandments.

In the ancient world, a yoke was a carved wooden beam placed across the shoulders of oxen to harness them to a plow. A yoke wasn't designed to crush the animal; it was designed to harness its raw energy and turn it into productive, purposeful power. In essence, when parents provide paideia or bring their child under the yoke of God’s commandment, they are basically using God’s word as the mold for shaping the child’s behavior and personality!

We see paideia in Hebrews 12:11 – 13:

“No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way. So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees. Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fall but become strong”. NLT

Stay with me and let's get clarity; discipline here does not refer to consequence for wrongdoing but, the rigorous training and enforcement of God’s standards of living right in a perverse world. It is the daily sacrifice we train our children to make daily as an affirmation of who they are – Christians. It is the four Hebrew children looking at the king’s sumptuous table and choosing a diet of vegetables because of who they were – God’s own. It is Joseph looking at Potiphar’s luscious wife and the endless possibilities of “influence” he would wield after sleeping with her and saying no, because of whose he was. It is your child sitting for that promotional exam and choosing to fail and, repeat that class instead of cheating because of who they profess themselves to be!

Paideia - the discipline of the Lord is not Sunday school or morning devotion rituals, it is holding God’s word as the standard of living daily within our homes and guiding our children to live accordingly.

The musar was primarily domestic. The father was the primary "discipliner," responsible for ensuring the child could navigate the moral and physical requirements of the Covenants of God’s word to His people. In essence, the raising up of the child within the context of the scriptures is fundamentally the disciplined process of bringing up that child under the authority of God’s word. The child’s worldview and character formation were not based on human philosophies but the specific commands of God concerning life and His expectations of how life is to be lived.

The Greek nouthesia (verbal instruction/admonition) aligns closely with the Hebrew concept of hinnuk (dedication/training). The Shema (Deuteronomy 6:4-9) is the foundational "instructional" text. Hebrew parents were commanded to speak of God's laws "when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise." This mirrors nouthesia, the constant, verbal integration of faith into daily life. Nouthesia in this context meant the "placing of the Word into the mind." It wasn't just a lecture; it was the "verbal engraving" of the Torah onto the child's heart through storytelling (the Haggadah) and questioning.

This pedagogical strategy was designed to move information from the head to the heart and help the child internalize the covenant.

The Instruments of the Haggadah & Questioning as Anchors of Identity

1. Storytelling as Identity: The word Haggadah comes from the Hebrew root hgd, meaning "to tell" or "to announce" (Psalm 145:4; Psalm 78:4-6; Joel 1:3). The concept of Hagaddah, beyond the physical act of passing down shared history, employs the powerful instrument of spoken word – the most potent creative energy inherent in man. It uses words that are strategically constructed to shape perception and identity, the Haggadah is engineered to give cognitive framing to the mind of the child being instructed. By constantly and consistently repeating the stories of their shared history using inclusive words, the child’s mind is framed, their thinking and belief system is daily shaped into the identity that they are being included to.

   
   

   Similarly, as parents, to move our children from head knowledge of God to a heart acceptance, scriptural recitations and memorization must not only be personalized but also be backed by testimonies of our faith as a family; the many wonders of God in our lives and how He consistently shows up within our family. Have we waited on God for a particular situation? When He showed up and how He showed up must be the reference point when we enter another wait season, it becomes the example we use to buttress a scriptural text when we read it during morning devotion. This is real, it is tangible and it is your child’s faith relic upon which they get to build their own. Did you wait 10 years for that child? Was there a word or prophesy about your child or family? Without a living testimony on our family faith altar, the flames we pass down are weak and potentially may die when they sound like only like tales from a Hebrew story book!

Two old Bibles

1. The Art of Questioning: Prompting the "Why": In Hebrew parenting, a child’s question was considered more valuable than a parent’s lecture. The system was designed to provoke curiosity so that the instruction (nouthesia) was a response to a felt need. Teaching included contrived situations where parents would intentionally do things differently, acts contrary to established norms to trigger the child to ask, "Why is this night different from all other nights?"

Are your children asking you questions about their faith? What is your response when your children ask “strange questions” about God? Do you hush them or take your time to explain? Mind you, the questions are getting deeper in an increasingly “scientified” world, our children are moving from simple questions of “where do children come from?” to more sophisticated theology questions about good and evil, the sovereignty of God, the rightness of God’s judgement when He left the tree of the knowledge of good and evil in Eden when He knew the risks!  

We can no longer just gloss over responses or shush them, we must train ourselves to give them answers based on God’s word and by the leading of the Holy Spirit. In this age of knowledge, we must study to show ourselves approved and earnestly contend for the faith we received, we must pass that faith to the next generation, equipping them with rich experiences and sound theology.

In summary, when we use the tools of the Haggadah and welcome the "Why," we are no longer just passing down a tradition; we are fostering a relationship with the Eternal God. But how do we know when we’ve reached the goal?

Mum having a discussion with her son.

In our final article, we look beyond outward behavior to explore God’s true benchmark for spiritual stewardship: the production of "Godly Seeds" and the markers of a truly transformed life. You can access the concluding part of this series here: https://www.lolparenting.org/post/god-s-benchmark-for-spiritual-stewardship