We go into the union of marriage with implicit purposes that are as divergent as the emotional needs of both gender! Externally we are "in love" and want to be together forever but in being together, do we want to build together a single unified identity? The bible says the 2 shall become one flesh! This has nothing to do with anything external as there never can be a point of convergence due to differences in personality make up, physical ancestry, culture and familial history. But, God makes for each couple, a home in Christ that supersedes that which is physical.

The man and his woman (wife) must both be ready to step into this place in Christ where everything fades into the unity of one in Christ? A place of yielded-ness and surrender to God for His Fatherhood over them, to be mentored by His Spirit for the journey they have both embarked.

"They will be my people, and I will be their God. And I will give them one heart and one purpose: to worship me forever, for their own good and for the good of all their descendants." Jeremiah 32:38‭-‬39 NLT.

The purpose of parenting is to tend/nurture, guard and keep the kingdom of God in our homes; the sanctity of the union and the seeds that we are rewarded with.

Creating an environment for parenting - Eden (living the consecrated life).

For the journey of parenting to be fruitful and produce its God-intended outcome, the man and his woman must start from the place of a unified purpose in God, a synchrony of their individual purposes that aligns with the life God has called us all to live - a life of worship that honors Him. In this place we abandon the baggages of past hurt, misconceptions and false identities that excuse our refusal to surrender who we are to Christ. We take up our identity in Christ; a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His workmanship, His masterpiece created in Christ for good work! The good work of parenting godly seeds.

We must be willing as individuals within that union, to allow the Father transform our minds and bring our nature into conformity with His word concerning us.

Your Family, Your home and Eden.

"Eden" was a typology of family. Gen 2:15 (AMPC) "And the Lord God took man and put him in the garden of Eden to tend, guard and keep it." "God places the solitary in families and gives the desolate a home in which to dwell...". Psalm 68:6a AMPC.

It is God Who takes a man/woman and brings them into companionship with a spouse for His purpose, for kingdom expression and expansion. It is God Who authors a union between a man and a woman; He created them both and has put in each, the peculiar complementarities that make a perfect fit for a power union. Our role is to prepare, our place is to seek His kingdom and it is His job to add the "every other thing" that is needed for a fulfilled life. When we step out of this and go in our wisdom and desires, we become a case study for the family ER (emergency room - marital crisis & failure). We struggle and our seeds get caught up in that struggle, a classic case of the clay getting smeared in the hand of the potter; when our Eden is ruined, we birth in the heart of our children an erroneous pattern that can mar their own future marital journey.

Understanding our roles in the home

The man and his wife have their God given roles that they must perform one to the other in keeping with their responsibility of tending, guarding and keeping each other and their home (children and union). If they don't keep each other, they cannot keep their home neither the seeds they will receive.

A call to Followership, Devotion & Submission

The wife is called to a life of devotion to her husband and his received vision from God, similarly to the Church, she is to honor, respect, revere and submit to the authority of her husband.

"Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything". Ephesians 5:22-24

The Mother as a Leader & Mentor

The woman also is a leader to her children; leading them in the way of her family's shared vision. The message in the home must be unitary at all times for the purpose of God to be fulfilled in your family.

The woman is also a leader and mentor to other young women. As a leader and mentor, she must commit to submitting to the leadership of her husband, the rulership of the Holy Spirit and to being a model to her children quite similar to the way the church has been called to be a model to the world.

"Your duty is to teach them to embrace a lifestyle that is consistent with sound doctrine. Lead the male elders into disciplined lives full of dignity and self-control. Urge them to have a solid faith, generous love, and patient endurance. Likewise with the female elders, lead them into lives free from gossip and drunkenness and to be teachers of beautiful things. This will enable them to teach the younger women to love their husbands, to love their children, and to be self-controlled and pure, taking care of their household and being devoted to their husbands. By doing these things the word of God will not be discredited. Likewise, guide the younger men into living disciplined lives for Christ" Titus 2:1‭-‬6 TPT.

Fulfilling Your Role As His Woman

A few helpful tips:

1. Tend - take care of him (good sex, good food, and supporting him in his role as the leader of your home).

2. Guard - verb (protect him from harm - anything that will derail from or undermine God's purpose for his life; Eve opened the door for this to happen in Adam's life and they lost their home); noun (a person assigned to protect him, control access to..). We have a protective role over our husbands and vice versa.

3. Keep - retain possession of, cause to continue in a specified condition (fruitfulness and multiplicity), position or course (Kingdom & purpose). Let your pursuits and engagements be such as not to cause a derailment from God's purpose for his life.

4. Submit - accept or yield to the authority of another (your own husband). While the world screams and throws fits about this bible-based injunction, as God's children our submission to our husbands is an act of worship to the Father.

5. Honor - regard with great respect. He is "your lord" and your spiritual covering, surely he deserves your esteemed regard.

6. Respect - due regard for the feelings, wishes or rights of your husband.

7. Revere - feel deep respect for him

Every woman is called to the service of her King (God) and if she chooses to marry, the followership of her husband and, leadership of her children. Woman - GOD-PURPOSE-HUSBAND- FAMILY.

Indeed marriage and family life as precursors of parenting is a great enterprise that warrants that each individual must carefully count the cost and seek an alignment with God and His will, before engaging the process. If we desire to get it right and be aligned with God's eternal purpose for us, these foundations are then non negotiable.

Be assured that His grace is richly supplied to you. You can start and finish strong when you abide in HIM.