The Christian faith is not something we put on with our fancy clothes on Sunday morning and take off when we get back from church. It is the culture of the kingdom we live in daily that includes our belief systems, language, food (things we permit into our spirits) and how we dress to identify with that culture.

What is the culture that we have exposed our children to? What language have we trained their ears to listen to? What types of soul food (music and movies) have we trained them to desire? How have we trained them to dress and show up anywhere and especially when they show up online?

Our values, customs and traditions do not change in the digital space. As Christian parents who are raising Children that will lead the Church of tomorrow and influence the policies of nations, we can train our children to use technological devices in ways that enhance rather than erode their faith. Let's look at 7 steps we can take to help our children develop a digital culture that glorifies God and equips them to use devices in responsible ways.

1. Faith-Based Digital Acculturation: Digital acculturation is the process through which we guide our children to adopt, acquire and adjust to new digital cultures around them without compromising their faith. Like every other child or teenager, the Christian child would love music, want to watch movies, maintain a social network and find expression for their unique identity. It is our responsibility as parents to nurture them through this process from an early age; nature abhors a vacuum and what we don't actively teach, they will learn through their interaction with peers. Expose and teach your child to develop a taste for entertainment that edify their spirit, train their ears to listen to and enjoy songs and movies by Christian artists. A common principle of behaviour change is the principle of functional equivalence; some behaviours cannot be eradicated but, they can be replaced with behaviours that serve the same functions for the individual. In essence, we cannot totally ask our children not to listen to music, watch movies or engage in social networking, we can teach them how to access all of these technologies without losing their identity. How?

• Digital acculturation for toddlers: from birth to age 2 years should take the form of passive education through the songs we play on their devices and the programs we allow them to access. Rather than play random lullabies and cartoons for children, we can look for songs and audiobooks that are faith-based. We start early to train their ears and musical taste to savour what is right. It is recommended that children under the age of 2 years should not be exposed to screen viewing as it can impact their development. With digital Acculturation, it is essential that you review every content before you allow your child access to confirm it is appropriate and aligns with your faith and values. Download content to the device and turn off the internet access to prevent inappropriate pop-ups. If you do pay a subscription for digital television (I'm not a fan), be sure to turn on parental controls.

• Digital acculturation for older children: for children 3 years and above: digital acculturation should be very explicit. Your child needs to know what appropriate content is and why certain content is not allowed. Contents that expose children to violence, magic, witchcraft, non-faith-based gender ideologies and character portrayals that passively introduce your child to rivalry, competition and vanity, should be identified and discussed with your child. Your child must know why certain contents are not permissible based on God's word and your family values as Christians. Again, co-consumption is key, view first and discuss the markers that make such programs prohibitive content with your child.

• Digital acculturation for adolescents & teens: as your child gets older and you realize you have not set prior frameworks with regards to how and what they access through their devices, the process requires greater depth beyond setting restrictions and punishing violations by seizing their devices. Go back to the basics and work with your child on their spiritual life. Your child needs to find Christ and identify Him as their Lord and Savior to access the enabling grace of the Holy Spirit that keeps the inquisitive young mind in check. Like the Psalmist said, "I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you". Psalm 119:11 (NLT). It is the cherished word of God in the heart of your child that will restrain them far beyond what your vigilance and restrictions can achieve. Your role is support, guidance and regular reminders when they get distracted. Let us teach our children how to enjoy good music, connect with children of like faith and when necessary how to unwind with beautifully scripted Christian movies that enhance their faith. Technology in the hand of a Christian child should enable their faith walk.

2. Purpose of use: According to Dr Myles Munroe of blessed memory, when the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable. What is the purpose of the devices that we hand out to our children (young and teenage)? Understanding the purpose of use for the devices we give our children is key to helping them understand how to deploy those devices to their advantage. The purpose of DEVICES is NOT for SCHOOL WORK. Read that again, please. Contrary to what most Christian parents quip, we know by now that do not give our children devices to learn and read their bibles only. The devices we give to our children are for a variety of purposes; educational research, completing school assignments, staying connected to their friends, reading their bible, playing games, streaming movies and listening to music.

3. Digital discipline (dosage, timing and environments of use): the bible says:

"It is not good to eat much honey, nor is it glorious to seek one’s own glory. Like a city that is broken down and without walls [leaving it unprotected] Is a man who has no self-control over his spirit [and sets himself up for trouble]. Proverbs 25: 27 - 28 (AMP)

Discipline and moderation are key in all things and we must teach our children this when we hand over those devices. Boundaries should be established around the number of hours per day/week, they should have time allocations when they can use devices so it does not interfere with other important activities and, there should be boundaries about where devices can be used. Even with faith-based content, addiction and distraction can happen; when your child wakes up to their devices and responds to you with heads locked to their phone screen (without hearing you) and when it becomes the sermon they listen to in church, you know that abuse has set in. Set and model appropriate digital boundaries.

4. Digital vigilance: digital vigilance is the after-service care you provide for handing over a device to your child🙂 if you want to have peace of mind. It includes regular checks with your child to know what they are about on the device; don't go grabbing the phone and scrolling through, be respectful and just ask. "Hey Maimunat, what's this movie about?" " Who sang that song? It sounds quite interesting, what's it talking about?" are some questions that you could ask your child. You can then have discussions about the appropriateness of the content based on their feedback. This way you are helping your child refine and consolidate their digital preferences in ways that align with their faith. I typically will ask my children about the backgrounds of their fav musicians, are they Christians? And by doing so we have collaboratively screened out a few artists, songs, movies, etc. that fall short of what we have collectively defined as being inconsistent with our family beliefs. Our children should not be receiving inspiration/mentorship from Gay musicians singing inspirational songs that sound "okay", sexually-oriented movies for teens by "liberal faith" organizations, etc.

5. Modelling digital discipline: nothing reinforces the words we speak to our children better than the life we live before them. We lead from the front and set good examples for our children. What you watch and listen to for entertainment, how you set boundaries around where and when you use devices at home and how you respond when your children approach you to discuss an issue while you are on your phone are all shaping your child's digital character. Do you scroll and use devices during mealtimes? Are you deeply engrossed with your phone/device while your child or spouse is speaking to you? In church, are you busy responding to messages on your phone or excusing yourself during prayers to "quickly" take a call? Are you using devices to entertain your preschooler in church while the service is ongoing? It is time to review and revise your habits around how you use devices so your child can have a proper model to learn from as they navigate the digital sphere of devices.

6. Digital boundaries: sometimes children get exposed to inappropriate content through relatives, friends or other people outside the home. As a rule, teach your children not to touch or use other people's devices. It is also helpful to inform people that live in your home about this and get their commitment to not sharing their devices with your child. A lot of children have been drawn into porn addiction through such exposures either through friends or extended family members.

7. Keep your phone clean! a lot gets shared through the social media platforms we engage with. Some contents will be forwarded via Whatsapp groups that are offensive and could be risk factors for your child; explicit videos shared on marital platforms, videos shared to communicate certain concerns and links forwarded are all possible concerns. It's in your family's best interest to immediately delete all such media and links from your phone.

As with most topics around parenting, no one view can exhaustively deal with all factors; families and individual orientations define what works for each family. The central idea is for us as parents to see our children's use of technology as an extension of their everyday faith life and guide them into developing their digital identities within the context of their faith.

Wishing you grace, discernment and God's strength as you provide after-service care on all digital devices you have provided to your children. Shalom!

P.S

I have listed 10 youtube resources that have been useful for my children's entertainment for anyone looking for new alternatives🙂

• Superbook - a CBN bible stories animated series that teaches children moral lessons based on the lives of bible characters

• Storykeepers - cartoon series by Zondervan that chronicles the life of a family as they are prosecuted and help others facing prosecution because of their faith

• The Torchlighters - animated video series about true-life Christian heroes and martyrs. A great watch even for adults too.

• Vegetales - bible based animation series for preschoolers that teaches about character

• Rock Kidz - online children's Sunday school with storytelling, stage plays, songs and lots of fun!

• Mountzion movies - Christian movie channel by the Mike Bamiloye family, movies for the entire family and a fav (right from agbara nla!)

• Deep C Digital - Christian movies channel for family time

• Christian movies - Christian movies channel

• Pureflix - Christian movies streaming channel with monthly subscriptions (producers of "God's NOT Dead" and other fab movies)

Do you have a list of faith-based resources you have used with your children? Please share with us in the comments section, most parents are always on the lookout for great content that is faith-based for use with their children.