As Christian parents, our hearts are burdened with the eternal well-being of our children. We pray for their salvation, diligently teach them scripture, and strive to raise them in the "nurture and admonition of the Lord." But what if, despite all our efforts, we're missing the deepest purpose? What if we're aiming for outward conformity and a ticket to heaven, when God desires something far richer: a genuine, unyielding love for Him in our children's hearts? Could this also be the reason why some children despite all the teachings on faith they receive from home about faith, do a 180-degree turnaround from that faith at the slightest opportunity they get to leave home? We have heard many such stories of children rebelling and abandoning their faith when they leave their parents' home for the first time.

Beyond instances of perhaps parents not modelling what they teach which in itself is a strong de-motivator for the child to have genuine faith and speaks of hypocrisy, is there also the possibility that our children turn away from faith because we are missing the core of how to teach and disciple them?

These vital questions lie at the very core of what we call "strategic discipleship." It's the profound difference between preaching Christ for conversion simply to escape eternal punishment and, introducing our children to the love of God, engendering a relationship that builds into a life of commitment. It's akin to the relationship between a man and a woman, commitment in a relationship that translates to a marital union starts with an attraction, leading to a seeking to know the other better and subsequently an endearment and a commitment.

Beyond Just "Getting Saved"

Think about the components of faith we often emphasize: acceptance of God's gift of salvation, repentance from sin, faith in God, and the hope of eternal life. All are undeniably vital, yet Jesus Himself will ultimately summarize all of this under one core umbrella: love. John 3:16, 1 John 4:10, Romans 5:8 Mathew 22:37,39 remind us that God's ultimate gift was rooted in love. And Jesus declared, "If you love me, keep my commandments." Love isn't just a warm feeling; it's the very response God demands, the driving force behind true, joyful obedience. Love compels obedience to God's laws John 14:15,21

Even within our natural relationship with our children, children who have a deep love for their parents are more deeply committed to the parent-child relationship; giving themselves, their time and substance to, ensuring their parents' wellbeing. They do all in their power to mend the relationship when there's a rift.

Yet, in our zeal to raise "good Christian children," we miss this link and can inadvertently fall into the trap of introducing Christ with motivations that, while well-intentioned, fall short of this ultimate goal of getting them to discover God's love and to love Him. We might subtly (or not so subtly) teach Christ so our children:

• Follow our path: Ensuring they adhere to our family's traditions and beliefs.

  
  

• Get saved and escape eternal damnation: While true, if this is the sole focus, it can become fear-driven rather than love-driven.

  
  

• Conform and not bring shame to us: Prioritizing outward appearance and reputation over genuine internal transformation.

While these outcomes might seem desirable, they often bypass the heart of the matter. We want our children to be obedient, yes, but we desire their obedience to flow from an overflow of love for their Creator, not merely from duty or fear. That obedience will flow from knowing God, His nature (1 John 4:8), His love for them and His plans. Jesus shows us the powerful importance of following this pattern in discipling our children John 17:6 NLT

“I have revealed you to the ones you gave me from this world. They were always yours. You gave them to me, and they have kept your word". The first thing Jesus mentions is that He had "revealed" the Father to them. The Greek term here is the root word "phaneroo" which means to make something "visible". .ore like He had done an "unveiling" of the Father to His disciples and out of that unveiling they had come to know and accept God.

Are we intentional in making God known to our children in a way that courts them into a relationship? 1 John 3:1; John 15:9.

Strategic Discipleship: The Master's Example with Peter

Consider Jesus' profound interaction with Peter after the resurrection. Peter had just denied Jesus three times – a moment of utter devastation, perhaps even a questioning of his entire commitment. Yet, Jesus didn't scold or rebuke. Instead, He asked, "Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?" (John 21:15). Not once, but three times. And each time, after Peter affirmed his love, Jesus gave him a command: "Feed my lambs," "Tend my sheep," "Feed my sheep." Jesus was clearly showing Peter that true work and service must be born out of love, not just obedience alone, an obedience anchored in love.

This is strategic discipleship in action. Jesus wasn't questioning Peter's belief; He knew Peter believed and had followed Him, despite Peter's many "failings". But He was calling Peter to transcend mere believing and move into the highest form of followership: the followership that believes, and in that belief, discovers an oasis of love so strong and unyielding that it compels unwavering commitment to the object of its affection.

In this powerful dimension of strategic discipleship, Jesus looked beyond Peter's recent failings. He didn't dwell on the denial. Instead, He drew on a force stronger than a simple desire to obey – He drew on a love that brought complete restoration. Peter, undoubtedly reeling from his failure, found healing and renewed purpose not through a lecture on his shortcomings, but through a reaffirmation of his love for Jesus.

When Love is at the Heart of the Matter

This principle holds incredible power for us as parents. When we face moments of rebellion from our children, whether towards us or toward God, it's easy to react with frustration, correction, or even punishment. But strategic discipleship invites us to pause and consider a deeper truth: love is at the heart of the matter.

Our children may learn the rules. They may even outwardly obey. But if they haven't yet truly fallen in love with the God we propose, their obedience can be fragile. When faced with temptation or the allure of the world, a lack of genuine affection for God can leave them vulnerable. But when love has been established in their hearts, repentance and returning will be the outcome.

Our essential task, then, is not just to teach them about God, but to help them fall in love with God. This means:

• Modeling our own love for God: Jesus' disciples never doubted His love for the Father, they saw it in His consistent communion in prayers to the Father, fervency and commitment to His Father's house, the dedicated pursuit of purpose and the Father's business. He lived and died for His love of His Father. Our children learn more from what they see than what they hear. Does our joy in Christ, our devotion, and our obedience to Him truly stem from a deep love? Can our children truly see and feel that love for God in our service to God and to people?

  
  

• The big reveal: just like Jesus said in John 17:6, we must consistently direct our children's hearts to recognizing God at work in our family and in, their lives. From the ordinary daily occurrences of a divine favour coming our way, healing, financial access and other supernatural blessings, there are countless opportunities to explicitly focus our children's minds on the Source. God shows up for us in manifold ways out of His unwavering love and care for us. Let your children know this, for this glorifies the Lord and imprints on their hearts.

• Highlighting God's character of love: Regularly share stories of God's faithfulness, grace, forgiveness, and ultimate love demonstrated in Christ. Share your personal stories of how God has comforted you through trying times, helped you through specific struggles, and instances where His love has truly warmed your heart. For example, in seasons of doubt or weakness, I've experienced moments where God's reassurance poured into my spirit with such warmth, that it felt like a Father hugging and strengthening His child. These profound moments deepen my relationship with Him. I share these experiences with my children when they talk to me about their faith walk too.

  
  

• Creating environments for encounters: Facilitate opportunities for your children to experience God's presence and goodness personally, whether through worship, prayer, or service. Share stories of how God has specifically intervened in situations affecting them, personalizing God from a distant concept to one who is intimately mindful of their individual needs.

  
  

• Emphasizing relationship over rules: While rules are important, always frame them within the context of a loving relationship with God who desires our ultimate good.

  
  

• Restoring with grace: When they falter, imitate Jesus with Peter. Seek to understand their hearts and draw them back through love and understanding, rather than simply focusing on their failures.

Strategic discipleship is about nurturing a faith that is not just intellectual assent or outward performance, but a deep, abiding love for God that becomes the wellspring of all they do. It's a love that conquers all, the gift that God gave, and the response He earnestly desires from the hearts of our posterity. Let us strive to lead our children not just to obedience, but into a deep committed relationship with the living God that is founded on love.

Help your child embrace the greatest gift; a faith built on a deep, conquering love for God. Our FREE Parent Workbook lights the path for your strategic discipleship journey at home. Download below to get started!

What aspects of strategic discipleship resonate most with your parenting journey?