As Christian parents raising children in today's world, we face the significant task of guiding their faith amidst countless influences. This two-part series explores how relationships shape our children's spiritual journey. In this first part, we'll delve into the power of influence, identify positive and negative patterns, and look closely at warnings from biblical examples.

In our shared journey of nurturing children in the knowledge and love of our Lord Jesus Christ, we understand that our homes serve as the foundational training ground. Yet, as our children blossom and grow, their world expands, embracing friends, extended family, school environments, and increasingly, the digital realm. These relationships and exposures wield significant power, capable of either fortifying their faith or, regrettably, leading them astray. The timeless wisdom of Scripture reminds us, "Do not be misled, 'Bad company corrupts good character.'" (1 Corinthians 15:33, NIV). Discerning and navigating these multifaceted influences becomes paramount in guiding our children toward a thriving, personal relationship with God, wherever they may live.

The Power of Influence: How Relationships Shape Your Child's Faith.

As social beings, created for community, humans learn and develop through observation and imitation. Children, in particular, are highly susceptible to the values, beliefs, and behaviours of those closest to them – their friends, family members, teachers, and even online personalities. These interactions inevitably shape their understanding of the world and their place within it. This natural tendency towards imitation means that the company they keep profoundly impacts their development, including their spiritual formation.

Nurturing Your Child's Faith Through Positive Influences

When children are surrounded by individuals who genuinely love Jesus, live out their faith authentically, encourage prayer, engage with scripture, and model godly character (Galatians 5:22-23), it profoundly reinforces the faith lessons instilled at home. These positive relationships offer:

1. Encouragement & Mutual Growth: They "spur one another on toward love and good deeds" (Hebrews 10:24) and "encourage one another and build each other up" (1 Thessalonians 5:11). Like "iron sharpens iron" (Proverbs 27:17 TPT), godly companions help refine and strengthen faith.

   
   

2. Accountability: When our children are connected with friends and family who share similar faith and values, these individuals can provide gentle accountability when they face distractions, helping them stay aligned with their faith journey.

   
   

3. Positive Role Models: Children need to see faith in action – adults and peers who not only profess their faith but live it out daily, demonstrating what a life lived for Christ looks like (Philippians 4:9).

   
   

4. Fellowship & Belonging: Participation in teens' fellowship and having access to like-minded friends fosters a sense of belonging within their faith community, both in school and at our local churches (Hebrews 10:25). This shared identity strengthens their connection to their faith.

Undermining Faith Through Negative Influence

Conversely, close relationships with those who are indifferent or openly resistant to God, who normalize ungodly behaviour, mock faith, or consistently sow seeds of doubt and cynicism, can severely damage a child's spiritual foundation. Scripture offers numerous warnings:

• Corruption through Association: "Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm" (Proverbs 13:20). Close association with those who disregard God can gradually erode godly character and values.

  
  

• Spiritual Compromise: We are cautioned, "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common?" (2 Corinthians 6:14). Consider carefully your child's closest friends and confidantes, both within and outside the immediate family. Ungodly close relationships inevitably lead to compromise in their faith walk.

  
  

• Enticement to Sin: We must diligently teach our children to heed the warning, "When peer pressure compels you to go with the crowd and sinners invite you to join in, you must simply say, “No!" (Proverbs 1:10). Negative influences often actively tempt towards wrong choices. Open conversations about such possibilities and their various forms are crucial in guiding their choices.

  
  

• Subtle Erosion of Values: Sometimes, negative influences aren't overtly hostile to faith but subtly promote worldly values, materialism, or a lack of spiritual discipline, gradually drawing children away from a God-centered life.

  
  

• The Digital Realm: In today's world, online communities, social media influencers, and digital content can exert significant influence, both positive and negative. Exposure to ungodly content, cyberbullying, or online peer pressure can negatively impact a child's faith and values.

  
  

Biblical Examples of Negative Influences from Close Relationships

The Bible is rich with narratives illustrating how relationships tragically led people astray. Let's look at a few examples:

• Solomon and His Wives (1 Kings 11:1-4): Despite his divinely granted wisdom, King Solomon's numerous foreign wives, whom he allowed into his inner circle, gradually turned his heart away from the Lord towards their false gods in his old age. This powerfully demonstrates how even the wisest can be led astray by intimate relationships that do not honour God.

  
  

• Amnon and Jonadab (2 Samuel 13): King David's son Amnon was consumed by lust for his half-sister Tamar. His cousin Jonadab, described as a "very shrewd man," observed Amnon's distress. Instead of offering godly counsel or warning against sin, Jonadab cunningly devised a deceitful plan that enabled Amnon to violate Tamar. Jonadab’s clever advice directly facilitated horrific sin, leading to tragedy and ultimately Amnon's death. This serves as a stark warning about friends who, however intelligent, offer counsel that encourages or enables sinful desires rather than righteousness.

  
  

• Rehoboam and His Young Friends (1 Kings 12): King Rehoboam unwisely rejected the sage advice of the elders who had served his father, Solomon. Instead, he heeded the harsh and arrogant counsel of his young peers, leading to the division of the kingdom. This highlights the inherent danger of valuing foolish peer counsel over godly wisdom and experience.

  
  

• The Israelites and Neighbouring Nations (Judges 2:1-3, 11-13): God repeatedly and clearly warned the Israelites against intermarrying with or adopting the practices of the pagan nations surrounding them. Their repeated failure to obey this command led them into recurring cycles of idolatry and turning away from God, illustrating the corrosive effect of conforming to ungodly cultural influences.

  
  

• Gehazi and Naaman (2 Kings 5): While not a primary family relationship, Gehazi, Elisha's servant, allowed greed to corrupt him, seeking personal gain from Naaman's healing despite Elisha's example of integrity. His actions demonstrate how close proximity to godly influence doesn't guarantee immunity to negative desires and the negative impact of selfish ambition. The fact that you uphold strong Christian values alone does not guarantee that close family members and home staff within your home imbibe those values.

Reflection

From these examples, we see that negative influences can stem from relatives, intimate relationships, peer groups, and the surrounding cultural environment. This is particularly instructive for older teens and young adults in universities who might need to make difficult decisions about their living arrangements or close relationships to safeguard their faith from destructive influences. Even for children in secondary schools, the prevailing culture of the school environment – whether it nurtures or erodes faith – demands our attention. I recall my daughter once confiding in me that her school and classroom made it difficult for her to keep faith; there was a culture of loose morals in language and conduct. While we couldn't immediately change her school because she was in an exit class, we knew we had to provide more support for her. These situations require prayerful wisdom and proactive engagement.

Having seen the potential dangers illustrated so clearly in Scripture and real life, how can we find encouragement and practical ways forward? In Part 2, we'll look at inspiring biblical examples of positive influence and then dive deep into actionable strategies parents can use to guard their children's hearts and guide them through the world's complex influences.

We'll also be sharing a personalized worksheet. This tool will guide you to prayerfully review your child's current networks of influence, engage with them, and offer support to help them make the right choices.

Shalom!