I sat, busy attending to my business, when my eyes suddenly caught sight of a mosquito. It looked quite fresh and innocent, not like those vicious, blood-bloated types that send me into a swiping frenzy with their evil appearance.

However, the more I looked, the more I realized this wasn't some "innocent" mosquito searching for daily bread. This looked like a female Anopheles mosquito – the more I looked at it, the more its potential for damage became apparent. This was the malaria-bearing species that could put my children on vacation from school and send us running back and forth to pharmacies. Without another thought, my hand swiped and smacked it dead.

Hmmmm, why do I worry about an ordinary Anopheles mosquito? It's the powerful lesson that came to me within that experience. You know how God sets your heart to making meaning out of ordinary events when He wants to speak to you? It was a clear analogy: none of us will allow a seemingly "innocent" mosquitoes like the one I saw "feel at home" in our homes because we want to protect ourselves and our families from its potential to cause harm. Yet, we sit back as observers and watch relationships, objects of attachment, character traits, and influences wreak havoc on our children's destinies.

How many times have we looked the other way and said, "This one can't be all that dangerous," or "I can't speak to my child about so-and-so because even though I know there's potential for harm, I am wishfully thinking it will pass without inflicting damage"?

Identifying and Addressing the "Mosquitoes"

As parents, we are Watchmen. We must kill the "mosquitoes" before they strike. In essence, not allowing certain things, attitudes, or relationships to fester in our children's lives while we stand by as observers could save us a lot of future heartache.

These "mosquitoes" can take many forms:

• The seemingly harmless friend: A peer who, over time, subtly introduces negative attitudes or risky behaviors. It might seem innocent at first, just a new friendship, but its potential for harm grows.

  
  

• An unhealthy attachment to a device or game: What starts as simple entertainment can escalate into an addiction that isolates your child and hinders their development. We have heard of children seeking to harm their parents because their device was seized!

  
  

• A developing character flaw: A tendency towards dishonesty, disrespect, or laziness that isn't addressed early because it seems minor but can grow into a significant problem.

Sometimes "killing the mosquito" means outright saying "No" and removing the harmful influence. Other times, it means having difficult but crucial conversations, setting firm boundaries, or actively guiding your child away from destructive paths. The key is to be proactive and discerning, rather than reactive.

Welcome back! In Part 1, we explored the significant power influences have on our children’s faith and examined biblical warnings about negative relationships, including a personal reflection on navigating challenging school environments. Now, let's turn our focus to hope and action. We'll continue our discussion by drawing inspiration from Scripture's examples of positive influences, then explore practical, biblically-grounded steps you can take as parents.

Biblical Examples of Positive Influences

Just as the Bible warns of negative influences, it also beautifully illustrates the power of godly relationships:

• Daniel and His Three Hebrew Friends (Daniel 1): In a foreign land facing immense pressure to conform to ungodly customs, Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego formed a strong bond of loyalty to God and to each other. They mutually encouraged one another in their commitment to God's laws, even when facing severe consequences. Their unwavering support for one another serves as a powerful example of how godly friendships can provide strength and resilience in the face of negative cultural influences.

• Ruth and Naomi (Ruth 1:16-17): Ruth, a Moabite woman, was so profoundly impacted by her mother-in-law Naomi's unwavering faith and godly character that she declared, "Your people will be my people and your God my God." This beautiful example illustrates how a godly family member can be instrumental in leading someone to a personal relationship with the true God. Identify the “Ruths” in your family and intentionally facilitate close ties with your children.

• David and Jonathan (1 Samuel 18-20): Their deep and enduring friendship was characterized by unwavering loyalty, mutual encouragement, and a shared commitment to God's will, even when it meant Jonathan opposing his father, King Saul, who was acting in an ungodly manner. This powerfully illustrates the strength and support that godly peer relationships can provide in strengthening faith, especially during challenging times. Who are your child’s closest friends? What drives them?

• Paul and Timothy (Acts 16:1-3, 2 Timothy 1:5-7): Paul served as a spiritual father and mentor to young Timothy, offering consistent encouragement, providing crucial instruction, and reminding him of the genuine faith passed down through his grandmother Lois and mother Eunice. This highlights the vital and lasting role of intergenerational mentorship in nurturing and sustaining faith across generations. Spiritual mentorship within the family or with trusted mentors in your church can be helpful in your child’s faith journey.

Managing the Influences Around Your Children: Proactive Steps to Guard Their Hearts

Inspired by these examples and guided by God's Word, here are practical steps we can take:

• Be the Primary Influence: Authentically live out your faith. Remember God’s clear command: "These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up" (Deuteronomy 6:6-7). Nurture them "in the training and instruction of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:4). Your consistent example speaks volumes.

• Cultivate a Godly Home Environment: Make your home a sanctuary where faith is central. Declare, like Joshua, "As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord" (Joshua 24:15). Establish regular family prayer times, Bible reading, and open discussions about faith as a natural part of your daily life. Use everyday experiences to drive home biblical truths.

• Be Mindful and Intentional About Household Members: In many communities around the world, it's common for relatives or caregivers to live with close family. Before opening your home, thoughtfully discuss your family's core values, especially those related to faith, fellowship, acceptable visitors, media consumption, and language. Seek a commitment to upholding these values, fostering an environment of mutual respect while maintaining your home's spiritual integrity. Be aware of the "little foxes that destroy the vineyard" (Song of Solomon 2:15) – seemingly small issues that gradually erode faith and Christian living.

• Know Their Circle of Friends: Be actively involved in your child’s life. Get to know their friends, spend time with them when possible, and build relationships with their families. Understand the values and beliefs prevalent in the homes they visit. Social media offers crucial insights into your child's friends. Observing what they post and the accounts they follow can provide a deep understanding of their motivations and potential impact on your child. Observe without judging them but wisely guide your child to steer clear of friends who lead to compromise in their faith.

• Teach Discernment from a Young Age: Equip your children with a strong foundation in God's Word. Through consistent teaching and practice, help them "to distinguish good from evil" (Hebrews 5:14). Instruct them not to believe every spirit, but to "test the spirits to see whether they are from God" (1 John 4:1). Emphasize that not everyone who claims to be a Christian truly lives a life transformed by Christ; teach them to recognize the "fruit" of genuine faith (Matthew 7:16). A great way to teach children discernment is by watching and analyzing faith-based movies that portray such concepts. These films offer significant entertainment value while providing explicit lessons. Discuss the movies to gain their perspective and provide clarity and advice as needed.

• Foster Positive Peer Relationships: Actively encourage friendships with children from like-minded Christian families (Proverbs 13:20). Facilitate their involvement in church youth groups, Sunday school, and other positive Christian environments where they can experience godly fellowship and build strong, faith-affirming bonds (Proverbs 27:17). Sometimes, keeping faith is erroneously equated with isolating our children, which can lead to negative outcomes as children may not have the opportunity to learn appropriate social skills. Help your child connect with like-minded children; remember, nature abhors a vacuum!

• Maintain Open and Honest Communication: Create a safe and non-judgmental space where your children feel comfortable sharing their struggles, questions, and the influences they encounter. You will be positively amazed by the things you get to learn from and about your child when you let them speak freely about their thoughts! Sometimes your children act out of the innocence and naivety of a mini human who has never lived this life before and has not had your many dumbfounding experiences. We are quick to make assumptions based on our experiences while the child has only acted in innocence! Listening to your child reveals so much and takes you straight back into the child you once were. Practice being "quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry" (James 1:19). Respond with gentleness (Proverbs 15:1) and avoid exasperating them (Colossians 3:21), fostering trust and open dialogue.

• Set Loving and Clear Boundaries: If an influence is negative or harmful to their faith, take decisive steps to limit your child's exposure to such individuals or environments (Proverbs 22:5). Heed the instruction to "keep away from" those who persist in ungodly behaviour or teach contrary to the foundational truths of the faith (Romans 16:17; 2 Thessalonians 3:6). Explain your reasons biblically and with love, helping them understand the "why" behind your decisions. This process is significantly easier when you've consistently communicated about faith and family values from a young age, as children are more open and cooperative in letting go of relationships, especially when there's clear evidence of concerning behavior.

• Monitor Media Consumption: Be actively aware of the media your children consume, including television, movies, music, video games, and online content. Discuss the values and messages being presented, and help them critically evaluate them through a biblical lens. Consider using parental controls when they are young, transitioning to open conversations about responsible media consumption as they enter adolescence and their teen years. This stepped approach allows your child to develop a healthy media appetite from a young age with your guidance, while fostering the self-regulatory skills they'll need for independence, such as when they leave for university.

• Pray Diligently and Without Ceasing: Commit to praying consistently and fervently for and with your children; for their spiritual protection, wisdom, godly friendships, and unwavering faith (Ephesians 6:18). Lay all your anxieties and requests for them before God, specifically praying for discernment for yourself, wisdom for your children to choose godly friends, and protection from harmful influences (Philippians 4:6). As Scripture commands, "pray without ceasing" (1 Thessalonians 5:17) for them and for those who significantly influence their lives. Inviting your children into this prayer process with you helps them grasp the importance of these spiritual battles and goals, fostering a deeper sense of love, commitment, and personal ownership of their faith.

Navigating School and Other External Environments

These principles apply broadly, including within school settings, which are significant influence environments. When it comes to school, consider these specific applications:

• Proactive Communication with School Staff: Communicate proactively with teachers or administrators regarding your child and any specific concerns about social interactions or classroom content. Vigilance regarding the school's general environment is key. With societal changes, it's increasingly possible for schools to introduce social activities or examination practices that contradict your family's faith. If your child expresses discomfort or reports being required to participate in such activities, respond swiftly and address the issue with the school. This empowers your child, building their confidence to voice concerns and encouraging them to stand firm in their faith.

• Collaborate for Consistent Support: Foster a consistent support network for your child by working collaboratively with educators and potentially church leaders. This partnership ensures their spiritual and emotional well-being is nurtured across various environments. Actively listen to feedback from these sources, then discuss and verify it with your child. Be prepared to take concrete steps to address any communicated concerns, always striving to understand before making assumptions.

Conclusion

Navigating the complex world of influences surrounding our children demands wisdom, consistent prayer, and intentional action from us as parents. While we cannot control every external factor, we are called by God to proactively shape their environment where we can, equip them with spiritual discernment grounded in His Word, and nurture their hearts towards Christ.

Let us continually lean on God's wisdom, surround our children with fervent prayer, and diligently cultivate an atmosphere within our homes and encourage connections outside our homes where their relationship with Jesus Christ can flourish, strengthened by positive influences and resilient against the negative. May we always remember the powerful promise of Proverbs 22:6 (NIV): "Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it."

Thank you for reading this two-part series. May God bless your efforts as you diligently guide your children in faith despite the world's influences.

Download Your Complimentary Worksheet! 

To help you apply these principles in your family, we've created a free downloadable worksheet: "Navigating Friends & Family Influences Parents Worksheet for Ages 4 – 12 years." This worksheet provides practical exercises to help you reflect on the influences shaping your child's life and develop a biblical action plan.