“Mentoring is: Sharing Life's Experiences and God's Faithfulness” ― Janet Thompson, author.

Isn't that what we do as parents? Telling and teaching our children about life through the lens we have experienced it. As we evolve through our roles as parents, God wants us to tell our stories from the lived-out experiences of being guided by the Holy Spirit. We are maturing in our roles just as our children mature in age. There is a shift from unquestionable authority and leadership to being a hand-holding Guide that takes the place of a trusted adviser - a Mentor.

The dictionary defines a Mentor as an experienced and trusted adviser. When applied to our role as parents and how we begin to evolve in this role, we must take an individualized approach to each child and earnestly trust the Holy Spirit to guide us. Some of us have experiences that have scarred us, some of us have had it light and easy, and others not so easy, yet we all have been called to this noble stewardship of providing mentorship to our children. Like us, our children will have varied trajectories in their journeys to becoming. Some similar to ours and others so divergent we would not have a clue as to how to guide but for the help of the Holy Spirit.

Whatever, their patterns and journeys, Jesus sets a standard for us to work at as we develop our skills in providing mentorship for our children. What are some of those examples we can draw from Jesus' life as a Mentor to His children (the disciples)?

• They stayed with Him long enough for Him to indoctrinate them with the message of the Kingdom.

Parenting Application: as parents, we must strive to fully optimize the early years through the adolescent and pre-adult years our children get to spend with us; it should be a time of grounding them into the faith we have been called to, teaching them through our life examples how to handle situations through prayer and godly wisdom. It should also be a time of building strong bonds, deepening our relationship with them and teaching them our family values.

• He took them everywhere He went, showing them how the kingdom life is lived and manifested; a life of prayer, thanksgiving and yieldedness to God's will and, the manifestation of the power of God's kingdom.

Parental Application: getting our children involved in our lives and being involved in their lives, talking to them about your job/business and listening to them talk about their studies and relationship is key in mentoring. Sharing how we resolve issues we encounter, sharing age-appropriate information about family finances, decisions and how you reach those decisions can be helpful especially when you provide them with opportunities to share their thoughts about such matters. The more our children hear about our life stories and the different ways we let God guide us daily, the more tangible and engrained our faith becomes to them.

• He sent them in pairs to provide support and encouragement for each other as they went to test the waters of how to manifest kingdom life.

Parental Application: this is particularly applicable when we have more than one child, we must teach them to prioritize family bonds. Being there for one another and bearing each other's burden. Right from when they are young, we can teach our children how to share and care for others even with very minimal resources. For children who may not have siblings, we want our children to understand the golden rule of choosing their friends as captured in Amos 3: 3 and 2 Corinthians 6:14

• He sent them out without support but told them about all the possible help they could access and places they were not to seek help from.

Parental Application: sometimes as parents, we are tempted to be overly supportive to the extent that our support paralyzes our children and they struggle through life depending on us! Mentoring includes allowing our children to learn how to earn and manage money from a young age, and never be too quick to provide a hand-out. Teenagers and young adults should be guided to seek opportunities for internships, volunteering and holiday jobs even before they go to university. As graduates, no matter how wealthy we are, we must allow our children the opportunity to pay their bills and be accountable for their earnings no matter how meagre at the initial phase their earnings may be.

• He further equipped them for the work ahead and left them under the care of the Faithful Holy Spirit!

Parental Application: As Jesus disengaged from His disciples physically, He would notify them of the switch in caretaking; the Holy Spirit! One of the greatest gifts we can give our children is to help them understand God's love for them and His ever-present help. He is the Omnipresent God and is always there for those times when we are powerless to help and for those times when we can help but can't be there. That knowledge kept Joseph through a false accusation and a prison term until God delivered and elevated him to a Prince in Egypt. Our children will face those moments and they need to know to pray first and settle it with God before calling you on the phone.

Indeed as our children mature, we must mature in our roles too. We are only able to effectively do this when we allow God by His Spirit to mentor us first; allowing Him to work the word into our hearts and renewing our minds. Again, the bible enjoins us: "Likewise, exhort the young men to be sober-minded, in all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works; in doctrine showing integrity, reverence, incorruptibility". Titus 2:6‭-‬7 NKJV.

As fathers, and as mothers, it means years of investment into our relationship with our child/ren. The Bible again says "Grandchildren are the crowning glory of the aged; parents are the pride of their children." Proverbs 17:6 NLT

No one seeks mentorship from people they don't have regard for, we seek and accept the mentorship of people who we perceive to be the standard of excellence and have modelled that which we desire to walk in. We are proud of our mentors and take up their mannerisms, show them off and want the world to know that we bear their standards. Are your children proud of you? Do you represent the standard for kingdom family living that they will be proud of and desire to emulate when they start their own homes? Would they be proud to say they are of your stock? Have you earned your place or working at earning your place to be the voice of wisdom and truth they will seek to hear when they travel life's valleys in search/fulfilment of their God-given purpose?

Parenting is beyond the badge of having fathered/wombed a child, it's a call to kingdom mentorship. For a time comes when your child/ren will be separated from you to be joined in the divine union of one with another person. They won't need you calling them every day or hovering over their affairs, they need the opportunity to put your parenting to the test. At that time you will need to sit back and evaluate your work even as the Father evaluates you.

The day they leave our homes, they have technically and spiritually entered into their destinies as sons and daughters of God. Physically, they still answer to our names but spiritually, they have entered into their space of divine assignment; the family dimensions of kingdom expression where they are either extending the genealogy of God or mutating by the standards of the world. Either as singles living alone or as married individuals, they begin their journey shaped by all that you have lived out before them these past years (from infancy to adulthood). What remains of your parenting at this time is your accountability to the One who entrusted His most precious gift to you. May we be found faithful, Shalom!